1/17/2024 0 Comments Bachelor burn book twitter![]() In case you haven’t heard, Juan Pablo is looking for a woman who can dance. (Who are these people, and where does ABC find them?)Īnyway, Jay Crapit strums a few chords on his guitar, Clare wonders where oh-where the fake snow could possibly be coming from, she and Juan Pablo kiss, Clare laughs some more and the date ends. Time for a private concert with John Cratchit!Ĭlare, who almost certainly has no idea who Joe Crotchik is, runs toward him like she owns every album he’s ever recorded. ![]() So, we guess, Juan Pablo tastes like frozen water. What does that even mean? Snow is water that has frozen into ice crystals. Not only does Clare think Juan Pablo has the distinct smell of heaven (whatever that means), she also thinks he has a distinct taste. Just lean on over and take a couple whiffs.Īfter having a snowball fight and playing peek-a-boo in between the trees, Juan Pablo and Clare the Laugh-Talker go ice skating.Ĭorrection: Juan Pablo holds Giggles up as she attempts to ice skate and fails miserably.Īnd here’s Clare falling out of the makeshift rink: So finally, she gives up and decides, “…All I can do is sit there and … smell him.” Much to our surprise, she doesn’t get the answer she is seeking. On the way there, Clare asks Juan Pablo about 37 times where they’re going. But before they leave, he tells her she has to be blindfolded until they get to their destination. STAT.īlindfolded Clare, surprisingly, can’t see anything.Īfter Clare spends approximately two and a half hours putting on makeup, Juan Pablo finally comes to pick her up. Molly the Dog needs to get to an emergency vet. NOOOOOO! Not in the Bachelor Mansion pool! Kelly, WHAT are you thinking letting Molly the Dog swim in that thing? There are still venereal diseases living in that pool from Bachelor Pad! God only knows how many girls went searching for Ed Swiderski’s pickle while going for a midnight swim. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the girls are yapping and Molly the Dog is … swimming?! The episode begins on a beautiful day in smoggy Los Angeles, California. Molly the Dog contracts a venereal disease. Great! This sounds like fun! Where do we sign up? So let’s start judging.Ĭlare is blindfolded and kidnapped, Andi is forced to cover her hoo-ha with a cardboard sign, Cassandra can’t handle the emotional stress of being on The Bachelor, and Victoria … well, she can’t handle life, in general. ![]() We, however, are here for the right reasons-to be judge-y. But now that the first cocktail party is over and all of the sexual predators (ahem, Amy J.) have been weeded out, we can now focus on what this show is really about-over-the-top dates, crying in public restrooms, getting white girl wasted, making friends and, of course, not being there for the right reasons. During the premiere, it can be so easy to lose sight of this. The second week of every Bachelor season is always one of our favorites because it reminds us of the show’s true meaning.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |